Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Candidate #0000 - Post 34

33 days until I start my new job

The things you find when you start cleaning/packing…

I came across one of my old diaries. I only wrote in it during my last month as an undergraduate and then there is this one random entry from last summer. Wow, that brought back memories.

The entry from last summer is probably the funniest one. I wrote it the day after the sixth Harry Potter book came out. I had just finished the book and was totally freaking out about what would happen to Harry in Book 7. So the entire entry is one crazy theory after the other interrupted by little rants on how it is summer and I should be working less and hanging out with friends more.

This summer isn’t shaping up to be much different. I’m rereading Harry Potter 6. I’m still working too much. But I am finding a little more time to hang out with friends though…partially because I’m starting to panic about saying goodbye to everyone and am constantly questioning whether or not I will be able to stay in touch with people after I leave here.

You’d think that someone like me – who spent every vacation traveling, was an exchange student in high school and moved to another continent for college – would be used to moving and saying goodbye to people. But I’m not. And I feel like, with every move it becomes harder. The truth is, I’m scared. I’m scared of leaving my friends and losing touch with them. I was lucky that my three best friends from high school in Austria have been absolutely amazing about staying in touch. I may only see them every other year, but we e-mail back and forth and whenever I see them, it feels like we’ve never been apart. They even came to visit me in the US last summer. After high school, my luck must have run out though. Even though I only moved two and a half hours away from my undergraduate after graduation, I rarely talk to any of my friends from there. And not a single one has come to visit me. Granted, two of my friends were in the Peace Corps in Africa…and of course it had to be the two that would have come to visit me. But everyone else…

Yeah, I am bitter and very very disappointed. And I can’t help but wonder if the same thing will happen again after grad school. I keep telling myself that it won’t. Because even though we’ll all be much further apart, we’re all in Student Affairs. We have a lot more in common than my undergrad friends and I do. And there’ll probably be reunions at national conferences. But I can’t stop worrying sometimes.

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