Candidate #0000 - Post 20

26 days until graduation.


How am I feeling right now? I have a bad headache, to be honest, and am really really tired.

Last person who e-mailed me: my friend from undergrad, who is currently in the Peace Corps and will be back in the country in June. I can’t wait to see her again!!!

Okay, so I have to apologize for not having posted anything in a while. This past week has been absolutely crazy. It’s “Appreciation Week” here, which means Hall Directors want to rip out their hair becaue of the stress of appreciating everyone else. Hey, I’m a member of NRHH, the National Residence Hall Honorary, and I truly believe in recognition. But when I have to appreciate everyone in a week that’s already busy and hectic, the appreciation just becomes something forced and painful instead of something from the heart. We had Maintenance & Housekeeper Appreciation Week and were supposed to do something for them for every day of the week. We also had a Student Employee Appreciation Reception, then the Resident Assistant Banquet and tomorrow is the Residence Hall Association’s Leadership Banquet, which unlike at other schools I know isn’t organized by the RHA members but by the RHA Advisors, which basically means I do the bulk of the work here. And it’s not like we could postpone all the other things we have to do to have time to appreciate various people…no, we still have to do judicials and housing assignments and and and.

But enough about my hectic week: Let’s talk about the job search. I’m still slightly bitter and upset about schools that are not able to hire me because of my international student status. I think at this point, I have just given up on my dream of moving out West. Now, I just want a job…and preferably one where I actually get to interact with undergraduate students. Because that’s why I got into this profession but I barely get to do any of that now.

So I had an on-campus interview and I think it went pretty well. I mean, obviously I won’t hear anything from that school for another month or so, especially since I was one of the first candidates to interview on campus, so it’s hard to say anything right now. I have a really hard time knowing whether or not I did well. There were some interviews at ACPA that I thought I had nailed and then I didn’t get a second interview…and there were some where I felt like I had bombed and was ready to curl up in a corner and cry about it, and then I got a second interview. So now I just don’t know anymore.

But I enjoyed the interview and I could see myself working there, although there were some things I didn’t like that much. The school is definitely not my top choice right now, but you never know, it may be my only choice…or it may not even be a choice.

If you don’t like ambiguity and are not the most self-confident person in the world, this job search process won’t be a positive thing for you. My self-esteem has entirely evaporated over the past few weeks. I was never the most confident person to begin with (even thought I try very hard to come off as such), but I thought I did a decent job as a Grad Hall Director and would have some good job prospects. After all, I have won an outstanding graduate student award from NASPA, a Student Life Award from my institution and many of my supervisors and colleagues have told me that any place would be lucky to have me. Right now, it sounds like I will be lucky if any place wants me.

I really need to send out another round of resumes, but my hectic schedule has kept me from doing so. I have also lost a lot of motivation in regards to the job search. It’s become this black cloud that’s hanging over me every day and is threatening to crush me. Right now, I feel like taking the first job offer I get (if I get one) just for this process to be over. Who cares about fit? I just need a job!!!