Candidate #0000 - Post 17
44 days until graduation.
Quote of the Day:
Patience is a virtue.
How am I feeling today?
EXHAUSTED!
So...I have no idea where to start.
ACPA is over. These past few days have been an emotional roller coaster and if today was any indication, this involuntary roller coaster ride will continue for a while.
As I’m staring at my screen, I’m starting to release that summing up the past couple of days in a few paragraph is absolutely impossible. So I will try to give you just a little snapshot on what’s been going on:
Top 5 Frustration Factors:
5) The Questions. Once you return to campus, EVERYONE will ask you how the interview went and what your favorite schools were. And at least for me, I have a hard time figuring out how well an interview went because my perceptions have proven to be totally wrong at times, and my favorite schools are the ones, who will hire me. I’ve been trying very hard not to fall in love with schools that do not seem too interested in me, because I don’t want to get my heart broken. Even worse is the question, “Have you heard anything about campus interviews yet?” because immediately, you’ll start asking yourself, “Should I? Did other people get offers yet? Does this mean they didn’t like me?”
4) The “I don’t know what that means” factor. If someone sends you a really nice Thank You note, does that mean they didn’t like you and wanted to make you feel better or they liked you and will contact you about an on-campus interview soon (especially in regards to those institutions, who didn’t have second interviews)? If someone sends you a note after the second interview that says, “I enjoyed meeting you and we will be in touch,” does that mean that they really enjoyed meeting you and are going to invite you to campus or that they just liked you as a person but you may still not get an on-campus interview? If an employer stops when he/she sees you and starts a conversation outside of Placement, does that mean they liked you or do they just want to be nice to everyone?
3) Colleagues who treat Placement and this whole job-searching process as a competition. Maybe it helps your self-confidence to tell me exactly how many interviews you’ve had and how great you think they went, but I’m sorry, this not-emotionally stable grad student CANNOT handle this. I have enough self-esteem issues without others trying to destroy all my self-confidence!!!
2) Nightmares are not just nightmares. For the past two years, I have been worried that because of not having the traditional residence director experience but instead spending my first-year as an Assistant Hall Director with no supervision experience and then being placed in a Family Housing area with very different responsibilities, I would have a hard time getting my dream job (Hall Director of a traditional residence hall, preferably with first-year students). Supervisors and friends have been trying to tell me for the past two years that I had nothing to worry about. Well, they were WRONG. Many institutions asked for the number of student staff members I have supervised, the number of residents in my building, etc. and once they heard my answers, they clearly seemed to loose interest in my candidacy. So after two years of hard work, I feel like I have NOTHING to show for it. (And yes, maybe I’m being a bit of a drama queen and I’m making it seem worse than it was, but that’s how it felt. And after being unhappy in my positions for two years now, I don’t think I deserve having to deal with this…in addition to all the other stuff I already have to deal with as an international student.)
1) Once you make it through Placement, the torture isn’t over. Now, actually it has just begun. I have no idea how I’ll keep my sanity in these upcoming weeks where all I can do is sit around and wait to hear from institutions.
Top 5 Happy Highlights:
5) Placement is not as bad as you may think it is. Yes, it was stressful, nerve-racking and exhausting, but it could have been a lot worse. I soon got used to concentrating on the person across from me and ignoring all the distractions and conversations going on around me. After the first day, I felt like I knew where to go and what to do. You fall into a routine and are able to leave some of the butterflies and fear behind.
4) You’re so busy that time just seems to be flying by. Before you know what really happened, Placement is over.
3) For once, it pays off to be a geek. Having a folder with sections for each school and a cover sheet that summarizes some of the most important aspects about the position was really useful…and for once, people didn’t make fun of me for being a nerd but thought this was a really good idea.
2) You get to meet some amazing and extremely supportive professionals. I really had some good conversations – some during interviews or around Placement afterwards or at Socials – and really appreciated working in Student Affairs again.
1) Getting text messages, cards and phone calls from colleagues and friends, who are really trying to support you and brighten your day.
This is my update for today. Now, I’m just trying to wait to hear from schools about on-campus interviews. I’ve thought about ranking schools and then given up on it. I just can’t think about all this right now because it’s making me way too nervous. Now, being back from ACPA, the whole international-student issue is causing anxiety for me again. How do I tell an institution that I am an international student? I feel like I need to do this prior to accepting an on-campus interview? I don’t want to go and waste my and their money and time with interviewing for someone, who may not be able to sponsor me for a visa. Yes, I have the Optional Practical Training for a year, but I don’t want to just go to an institution for a year and then have to go through job-searching hell again next year to find a school that’ll be able to sponsor me. No, I need to know that they would consider sponsoring me (as long as I don’t mess up in my first year and that they really like me and want to hire me back for a second year). But how do you ask that? How do you bring that up? How? How? How?
Sometimes, just going back home and working at the local McDonald’s sounds like an amazing idea. Or I could always take a year off, travel to Australia, work random temporary jobs and just put my life on hold for a year. Maybe in a year, I’ll be more ready to deal with it.
But in the end, I know that’s not possible…or at least not a good, practical idea, so I guess I’ll just have to deal with this stress and hope that I won’t crack up in these next few months. Sometimes I feel like I’m getting horribly close to cracking up.
Quote of the Day:
Patience is a virtue.
How am I feeling today?
EXHAUSTED!
So...I have no idea where to start.
ACPA is over. These past few days have been an emotional roller coaster and if today was any indication, this involuntary roller coaster ride will continue for a while.
As I’m staring at my screen, I’m starting to release that summing up the past couple of days in a few paragraph is absolutely impossible. So I will try to give you just a little snapshot on what’s been going on:
Top 5 Frustration Factors:
5) The Questions. Once you return to campus, EVERYONE will ask you how the interview went and what your favorite schools were. And at least for me, I have a hard time figuring out how well an interview went because my perceptions have proven to be totally wrong at times, and my favorite schools are the ones, who will hire me. I’ve been trying very hard not to fall in love with schools that do not seem too interested in me, because I don’t want to get my heart broken. Even worse is the question, “Have you heard anything about campus interviews yet?” because immediately, you’ll start asking yourself, “Should I? Did other people get offers yet? Does this mean they didn’t like me?”
4) The “I don’t know what that means” factor. If someone sends you a really nice Thank You note, does that mean they didn’t like you and wanted to make you feel better or they liked you and will contact you about an on-campus interview soon (especially in regards to those institutions, who didn’t have second interviews)? If someone sends you a note after the second interview that says, “I enjoyed meeting you and we will be in touch,” does that mean that they really enjoyed meeting you and are going to invite you to campus or that they just liked you as a person but you may still not get an on-campus interview? If an employer stops when he/she sees you and starts a conversation outside of Placement, does that mean they liked you or do they just want to be nice to everyone?
3) Colleagues who treat Placement and this whole job-searching process as a competition. Maybe it helps your self-confidence to tell me exactly how many interviews you’ve had and how great you think they went, but I’m sorry, this not-emotionally stable grad student CANNOT handle this. I have enough self-esteem issues without others trying to destroy all my self-confidence!!!
2) Nightmares are not just nightmares. For the past two years, I have been worried that because of not having the traditional residence director experience but instead spending my first-year as an Assistant Hall Director with no supervision experience and then being placed in a Family Housing area with very different responsibilities, I would have a hard time getting my dream job (Hall Director of a traditional residence hall, preferably with first-year students). Supervisors and friends have been trying to tell me for the past two years that I had nothing to worry about. Well, they were WRONG. Many institutions asked for the number of student staff members I have supervised, the number of residents in my building, etc. and once they heard my answers, they clearly seemed to loose interest in my candidacy. So after two years of hard work, I feel like I have NOTHING to show for it. (And yes, maybe I’m being a bit of a drama queen and I’m making it seem worse than it was, but that’s how it felt. And after being unhappy in my positions for two years now, I don’t think I deserve having to deal with this…in addition to all the other stuff I already have to deal with as an international student.)
1) Once you make it through Placement, the torture isn’t over. Now, actually it has just begun. I have no idea how I’ll keep my sanity in these upcoming weeks where all I can do is sit around and wait to hear from institutions.
Top 5 Happy Highlights:
5) Placement is not as bad as you may think it is. Yes, it was stressful, nerve-racking and exhausting, but it could have been a lot worse. I soon got used to concentrating on the person across from me and ignoring all the distractions and conversations going on around me. After the first day, I felt like I knew where to go and what to do. You fall into a routine and are able to leave some of the butterflies and fear behind.
4) You’re so busy that time just seems to be flying by. Before you know what really happened, Placement is over.
3) For once, it pays off to be a geek. Having a folder with sections for each school and a cover sheet that summarizes some of the most important aspects about the position was really useful…and for once, people didn’t make fun of me for being a nerd but thought this was a really good idea.
2) You get to meet some amazing and extremely supportive professionals. I really had some good conversations – some during interviews or around Placement afterwards or at Socials – and really appreciated working in Student Affairs again.
1) Getting text messages, cards and phone calls from colleagues and friends, who are really trying to support you and brighten your day.
This is my update for today. Now, I’m just trying to wait to hear from schools about on-campus interviews. I’ve thought about ranking schools and then given up on it. I just can’t think about all this right now because it’s making me way too nervous. Now, being back from ACPA, the whole international-student issue is causing anxiety for me again. How do I tell an institution that I am an international student? I feel like I need to do this prior to accepting an on-campus interview? I don’t want to go and waste my and their money and time with interviewing for someone, who may not be able to sponsor me for a visa. Yes, I have the Optional Practical Training for a year, but I don’t want to just go to an institution for a year and then have to go through job-searching hell again next year to find a school that’ll be able to sponsor me. No, I need to know that they would consider sponsoring me (as long as I don’t mess up in my first year and that they really like me and want to hire me back for a second year). But how do you ask that? How do you bring that up? How? How? How?
Sometimes, just going back home and working at the local McDonald’s sounds like an amazing idea. Or I could always take a year off, travel to Australia, work random temporary jobs and just put my life on hold for a year. Maybe in a year, I’ll be more ready to deal with it.
But in the end, I know that’s not possible…or at least not a good, practical idea, so I guess I’ll just have to deal with this stress and hope that I won’t crack up in these next few months. Sometimes I feel like I’m getting horribly close to cracking up.
posted by StudentAffairs.com at 9:24 PM
1 Comments:
I hear you about placement. It really wasn't all that it was cracked up to be. But I also hear you on the stress points. Even though it's only Monday after ACPA I find myself stressing. Wondering if I should hear something....anything.
Thanks for your honest and open perceptions.
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